Yearning to be near you

saw your picture today. You look happy. You still look good. God! How I wish I could see you again. I miss the way you look, I miss those dark waves on your head. It reminds me of the ocean waves at night. Dark and mysterious. Scary, unpredictably scary, yet comforting. It brings out the excitement. A peek of the unknown, the unreachable, the one I could not hold on to, that is You. Early this morning I read the notebook where I used to document everything, all your messages, all my emotions, all about us. And I remebered how much you loved me. How patient you were. How happy we once were. A documentation of our love affair. I don't know why I wrote everything down, maybe because I want to remember everything, every minute, everyday, every Love. I guess I knew that this day would come, when all that I can hold on to are the memories. The memories that I was once the loved and the loving. I tried to scribble down you face, your gestures, your smile, your hair, you scent, your shadow, your hands, your things, your breath, your warmth, your eyes that disappears when you smile, the wholeness of you. My words are the only thread that binds me to you. I guess that is why lately all I do is write to you. Perhaps I am hoping I could reach you once again, like what I did before. Through my words, through my soul, I reach out to you. Longing; yearning. The desire to be with you once again. To feel your breath on my skin, to feel your should caressing mine. I ache at evryminute since the day I lost you. My heart is tattered but it is still beating for you. All I can think of right now is you. you have become the veil of the moon that comforts me at night, when all is calm and resting, while I in my little corner on earth, neither awake nor asleep, scream through soft whispers. I sit down under the misty crescent, on top of the banig I have unfolded, later when I can no longer stop the pain that is eating me I lie down and crumple like a fetus. Helpless and abandoned.