the lightness... i'm being...

I FEEL SO HIGH!!!
THE LIGHTNESS IS UNBEARABLE!!!
YET SO WONDERFUL!!!

the tale of casualan

cas'u.al.an (kash-wal-an) adj. happening by chance; carelesness; relaxed attitude; flippant attitude; negligence; lightness; lack of commitment.

he came from the blanket
of fumes that has been puffed out
from frustrated lungs and exasperated gods.
lingering taste of alcohol
hypnotized beingness.
converting it to void
a sudden escape from remembrance,
from the staggering claws of acceptance and parting

hollowness bridged him to her side
slightly slithering his way in
he wiped out memory found ob her sweat
beads of yesterday clawed in her hair
eradicated awhile by caresses
relief from a stranger,
she had always imagined--
became an appropriation
infront of her
slowly eating her
eating her

like heavy droplets of water
wet, they create a river of stories
free flowing, remembrance fresh
slightly their souls intertwine
vines and veins of stranger
acquiant hollowness
she felt a sudden hope for him to come
and to become reality
tp slap her back to life
and slowly he did
like a strom he rushed into her face
next--embracing her body
inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale
excreting sighs of pleasure
moist and fresh
slipping down with pride
she had let him in.

he became a reflection of her life
a more brutal one perhaps
their past compared
and suddenly he became god.
shattered the balance
of the princess in the cup
realization of--moments wasted,
time ignored
love uncherished.

--the princess turned into swine.

casual exchange of tales
opened her thigh, but not her mouth
just her thigh, just her thigh
widely spread--enter please.
her mouth shall remain shut
til she finds a future with him.

widely spread
he opened her scar once more
but he does not try to heal
but only to feel, to come, to feel again
the thigh, the breast
the breast, the thigh and back
as he enters the narrow cleavage
of her center
an orgasmic cry of the soul
crushing her dignity
with his body on top of her

nothing is left of him
only the memory of blood
breaking neither the heart not the vagina
only the soul
a blur now, clarity later
a sudden splurge of frustration and disappoinment
she had ruined her life once more.

illusion that she made love with God
not quite, rather
sleeping with a man
she does not know
not even names were remebered
consider adding the face
what was left of that night, that escape
was lost of worth.

unexpected stroke of words
lulling what has been asleep forever
forcing its way into what she called void
void: from the time she lived and before she died
the period of existence is what brought her oblivion
her passion for love, gave her death

no drama, only reality
the abandoned has found yet another
and again the abandoned shall do
the same and leave
the cycle of departure
slapped her back to reality perhaps sleeping with strangers
would bring her comfort then.

casualan lang--
enter and leave as you please.

A NIGHT WITH god

swaying streets and dancing stairs
amidst the crowd of strife
soulless faces of somebody and someone
filling the gap of nostalgia
he found her
as the veil of alcohol lingered

he traced the contours of her face
as he walked pass the line of remembrave and grief
charmed his way through the grey clouds
and through the dark ocean waves that embraced her

in hiding--she roamed the path of forgetting
eradicating what has been and what remained

touching the sacredness of her being
the unhealable wound bled another time.

she felt God speaking
of words she had to hear
sudden escape from lucidity
perhaps an escape from life

trembling past intertwining
the wave of regret came as a blur
uncertainty begets reason
reason offers none
the obscurity of lust overpowered by love
now she knows
---it isn't so.