Past

past. past tense. leaving... gone... as i write to you i realize all the words i scribble down talk about the past. words such as; said, smelled, looked, felt, and loved.

is that what you are to me? is that what you've become? are you my past, the one i used to share my life with? used to? have you become my life's shadow, that the only way i could see you is when i look back. are you not the same river i stepped on to once? will you be the one who should not be named?

if only i could choose, i would not say yes to all these questions. i am not losing hope, today i sat on God's lap, Alone. and i cried and i cried until i got tired. all He did was stare at me and then suddenly he embraced me tight. and that was all that i need. i may have lost you but i will never lose God, He will never leave me and so i know that i will never lose hope, i will never lose love. and if i'd continue hoping, if i'd continue loving, and if i'd continue believeing on love then maybe i will never lose you.