End

i made this letter right after breaking up with him...

Every beginning has its end and today is the end of that beginning. Exactly a year ago November 10, 2003 I met him at a friend’s house. It started out as a casual hi I’m Ynna and hi I’m Pom. After two days I totally fell for him, I couldn’t really say that I fell in love right at that moment but I know I fell for him. After two months we were on. It felt really great. The thing called love that everybody was talking about, I finally felt it. It was undeniably good, in fact it was more than good, it was great. Suddenly my whole world revolved around him. I have learned to care deeply for someone other than my self. And it was more satisfying to share that love with someone you know deserves it. It was a bumpy joy ride falling in love with him. It wasn’t a perfect relationship but I tried my best to take care of it. And I know that some way or another I succeeded. But he was right I’m not supposed to be the one to save him. And perhaps it is just right that we ended it now before its too late. Before neither of us can save our own life. The man that I love dearly, Pom is indeed a man that is so worthy to fight for, but I guess that’s not how he sees himself and I cannot do anything about it. He must first realize that he is worthy to be loved. I on my part could say that yes he is worthy to be loved, he deserves to be loved for he is such a wonderful person. But I am hoping that this end would change a whole lot about us. I am praying that in time when he is ready to come home, that we would be a better person stronger and more mature. I am not going to deny the fact that right at this moment I am not hoping that he’d come back to me. I am, and I will wait for him. I really love him and I hope he knows that I really do. I guess I’ve seen this coming, this end. And now as I enter a new life as I start a new day without him I am hoping that I would continue to grow into that beautiful woman that I know I should be. And after a while I hope he does grow too and then everything would turn into something beautiful again.

November 10, 2004
3:15 a.m.