connecting connection

hello jepoy,

wow didnt expect a comment from you. actually wasnt expecting anybody to hear my scream in silence. thank you for giving me a piece of your mind. it kinda lifted my soul, actually it made me smile. thank you once again.

as i type down this words i am shaking, i feel cold, i dont know why, maybe because i am again connecting, connecting to him through you.

last dec 23, i sent him a message, he replied telling me to stop waiting, mahirap na raw umasa. so i asked him if he still loves me and now that he's making me stop does that mean that its over between us, he said he doesnt know hes "fucked up" then he said its been over since the day we broke up and that he just told me to wait because he knows that SUMDAY(all caps, copied from his text message)hell come back.

so after shedding galons of tears i have realized that maybe i should really be invisible in his life for a while, and give him the space he wants for him to be able to grow.

it really really hurts, its not just an ordinary hurt, its a soul hurt. i have been miserable since the day we broke up, but i am trying to live for the people who loves me those who nver gave up on me, i think i owe my life to them.

i am trying to be better each day, trying to find Love in Any Form.

after that conversation with him, i decided to stop writting for a while, for if i write it will only make me want him more. it will not stop me from yearning. i have decided to love him from far away and in silence, i will forever pray for him, i will ask God to grant him the privilage to find his authentic self.

thank you jepoy for hearing my scream in silence. i really really appreciate your concern. thank you.

God has answered my prayers, now anj is really happy, she deserves it, she deserves to be loved by a person as good a you are. the both of you will always be in my prayers.sorry if i took this opprtunity to rant...

sorry i made you read this long letter... i just had to release... thank you again.

God Bless You

much love from the mermaid under the dark ocaen waves...