i thought i did but i was wrong and now i hate...

i thought i did but i was wrong. i thought that it was different in my case, in the process of moving on--to skip the part where you hate and try to forget. thought i would never get affected about what is happening with his life, especially now that i am no longer in it. and now i hate the fact that i hate him and that i also hate the fact taht he feels sorry about what he did, about what happened to us.i hate the fact that he remembers me, how i was so sincere about things. i hate it! i hate the fact that i never did anything wrong in our relationship, and still i earned nothing from it. i hate the fact taht i saw him yesterday and i am writting things about him again. i hate it when he felt like he was rude when he saw me, and that if it seemed like he did he said he didn't mean to look rude. i hate the fact that i still have you bookmarked on my friendster account, and i hate the fact taht i c\still check on you once in a while. and i hate the fact that im still not through thinking about things i hate about you.i hate myself for feeling do shaky and cold inside out right now as i type this crap, i hate the fact that i feel like i am destroying my keyboard for jamming each letter so hard, out of anger maybe? i hate the fact taht i forgot how thankful i am about the lessons i've learned. i hate the fact that im wrong, when i thought i have moved on... but i didnt... not an inch... i hate the fact that he borrowed my lighter, i hate the fact that my bed sheets are still with him and my pajama too... that tight skimpy pair with purple flowers... for healing... i hate it. i hate hating right now. i hate the fact that when i read **** blog we miss the same exact things about him... i hate it because i have this urge to say i hate you and i regret ever knowing you. and i hate the fact that i don't remeber how it was when we were together. i hate the fact that when i saw him he seemed to be total stranger to me. i hate the fact that after seeing him i cant seem to get him off my head AGAIN. i hate the fact that you have a sexcret blog that i will never ever see and i would never ever be able to fish sensitive details about you, like how it was with us before.i hate the one year apart from him because i have realized taht he didn't deserve me. i hate the fact that all my efforts didnt pay off, and i hate it that i am still not done with ranting, and i hate the fact that its almost four in the afternoon and i havent taken a bath nor glanced at my book cause i slacked the whole day without any aparent reason then bam! i stoppped denying the fact... and yes i am affected about what happend last night. i hate the fact that i miss bea and gee if not for you we could have been good friends. i hate the fact that i had to go back to ateneo and remeber how it used to when i loved you... and you didnt. i hate the fact that a yeah hod gone by a lot of death and yearning... but still i get affected by your existence. i hate the fact that im typing words all jumbled in side my heads, not giving a damn about the spelling and the grammar. i hate the fact that i think you are... and i guess everbody was right from the begennning. i hate the fact that finally you have come to the point when you know you did something wrong and you remember each sweet moments we had together. i hate you i hate you i hate you!!!! and wosrt of all i hate my self again.