starfish(11/16/5) for almost 2 hours

"a fish swimming on land to be able to reach the Star"
---and i shall be myself forever and ever.

11/22/4-11/22/5

it's been a year!!!:)
yet the tales of the angel and mermaid shall never cease...cheers!

the lightness... i'm being...

I FEEL SO HIGH!!!
THE LIGHTNESS IS UNBEARABLE!!!
YET SO WONDERFUL!!!

the tale of casualan

cas'u.al.an (kash-wal-an) adj. happening by chance; carelesness; relaxed attitude; flippant attitude; negligence; lightness; lack of commitment.

he came from the blanket
of fumes that has been puffed out
from frustrated lungs and exasperated gods.
lingering taste of alcohol
hypnotized beingness.
converting it to void
a sudden escape from remembrance,
from the staggering claws of acceptance and parting

hollowness bridged him to her side
slightly slithering his way in
he wiped out memory found ob her sweat
beads of yesterday clawed in her hair
eradicated awhile by caresses
relief from a stranger,
she had always imagined--
became an appropriation
infront of her
slowly eating her
eating her

like heavy droplets of water
wet, they create a river of stories
free flowing, remembrance fresh
slightly their souls intertwine
vines and veins of stranger
acquiant hollowness
she felt a sudden hope for him to come
and to become reality
tp slap her back to life
and slowly he did
like a strom he rushed into her face
next--embracing her body
inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale
excreting sighs of pleasure
moist and fresh
slipping down with pride
she had let him in.

he became a reflection of her life
a more brutal one perhaps
their past compared
and suddenly he became god.
shattered the balance
of the princess in the cup
realization of--moments wasted,
time ignored
love uncherished.

--the princess turned into swine.

casual exchange of tales
opened her thigh, but not her mouth
just her thigh, just her thigh
widely spread--enter please.
her mouth shall remain shut
til she finds a future with him.

widely spread
he opened her scar once more
but he does not try to heal
but only to feel, to come, to feel again
the thigh, the breast
the breast, the thigh and back
as he enters the narrow cleavage
of her center
an orgasmic cry of the soul
crushing her dignity
with his body on top of her

nothing is left of him
only the memory of blood
breaking neither the heart not the vagina
only the soul
a blur now, clarity later
a sudden splurge of frustration and disappoinment
she had ruined her life once more.

illusion that she made love with God
not quite, rather
sleeping with a man
she does not know
not even names were remebered
consider adding the face
what was left of that night, that escape
was lost of worth.

unexpected stroke of words
lulling what has been asleep forever
forcing its way into what she called void
void: from the time she lived and before she died
the period of existence is what brought her oblivion
her passion for love, gave her death

no drama, only reality
the abandoned has found yet another
and again the abandoned shall do
the same and leave
the cycle of departure
slapped her back to reality perhaps sleeping with strangers
would bring her comfort then.

casualan lang--
enter and leave as you please.

A NIGHT WITH god

swaying streets and dancing stairs
amidst the crowd of strife
soulless faces of somebody and someone
filling the gap of nostalgia
he found her
as the veil of alcohol lingered

he traced the contours of her face
as he walked pass the line of remembrave and grief
charmed his way through the grey clouds
and through the dark ocean waves that embraced her

in hiding--she roamed the path of forgetting
eradicating what has been and what remained

touching the sacredness of her being
the unhealable wound bled another time.

she felt God speaking
of words she had to hear
sudden escape from lucidity
perhaps an escape from life

trembling past intertwining
the wave of regret came as a blur
uncertainty begets reason
reason offers none
the obscurity of lust overpowered by love
now she knows
---it isn't so.

just passing by....

how's the world...

how's life beyond law books and law schools and normal looking guys in tucked in polos those superficial facades... embracing the normity of the world...

emotions: sadness and fear... how long has it been til i felt calm...

how are you people of the world?

anywhere is...

Anywhere Is
Enya

I walk the maze of moments
but everywhere I turn to
begins a new beginning
but never finds a finish
I walk to the horizon
and there I find another
it all seems so surprising
and then I find that I know

Chorus:
You go there you're gone forever
I go there I'll lose my way
if we stay here we're not together
Anywhere is

The moon upon the ocean
is swept around in motion
but without ever knowing
the reason for its flowing
in motion on the ocean
the moon still keeps on moving
the waves still keep on waving
and I still keep on going

Chorus

I wonder if the stars sign
the life that is to be mine
and would they let their light shine
enough for me to follow
I look up to the heavens
but night has clouded over
no spark of constellation
no Vela no Orion
The shells upon the warm sands
have taken from their own lands
the echo of their story
but all I hear are low sounds
as pillow words are weaving
and willow waves are leaving
but should I be believing

Chorus

To leave the thread of all time
and let it make a dark line
in hopes that I can still find
the way back to the moment
I took the turn and turned to
begin a new beginning
still looking for the answer
I cannot find the finish
It's either this or that way
it's one way or the other
it should be one direction
it could be on reflection
the turn I have just taken
the turn that I was making
I might be just beginning
I might be near the end.

It's been so long...

Hi everybody! I missed this! Writing in my blog... So how are you? I've been very busy fixing my life lately. I did a lot of things that I have to real be serious at. Like yeah... lawschool. Its all new and unfamiliar and im telling you its physically and mentally scary... hahaha useless sentence... try to understand my saturated brain... I feel so small and scared to wander around and explore. I miss being free from stress... Yeah like that ever happened... Well it kinda did before... With him... Hehehe... Don't get mad at me if im still not over it ok... someday i'll be...

i miss the beach and i miss my friends. all i do now is read read and read stupid laws and evil professors! hahaha...

well was just passing by...

see you when i see you...

PART THREE: Words Misunderstood

• the love he bore this woman, with whom he had fallen in love several months befpre, was so precious to him that he tried to create an independent space for her in his life, a restricted zone of purity.

• love was not an extension of public life but its antithesis. it meant a longing to put himself at the mercy of his partner. he who gives himself up like a prisoner of war must give up his weapons as well. and deprived in advance of defense against a possible blow, he cannot help wonering when the blow will fall. ... love meant the constant expectation of a blow.

• all lovers unconsciously establish thier own rules of the game, which from the outset admit no transgression.

• a recapulation of time, a hymn to thier common past, a sentimental summary of an unsentimental story that was disappearing in the distance.

• semantic river: each time the same object would give rise to a new meaning, though all former meanings would resonate (like an echo, like a parade of echoes) together with the nre one. each new experience would sound, each time enriching the harmony.

• they failed to har the semantic susurrus of the river flowing through them.

• while people are fairly young and the musical composition of thier lives is still in its opening bars, they can go about writing it together and exchange motifs..., but if they meet when thye are older..., thier musical composition are more or less complete, and every motif, every object, every word means something different to each of them.

A SHORT DICTIONARY OF MISUNDERSTOOD WORDS

woman

• what we have not chosen we cannot consider either out merit or our failure.

• value. not every woman was worthy of being called a woman.

• he felt himself unworthy of great a love, and felt he owed hew a low bow.

fidelity and betrayal

• fidelity gave a unity to lives that would otherwise splinter into thousands of split-second impressions.

• betrayal means breaking ranks. betrayal means breaking ranks and going off into the unknown.

music

• he considered music a liberating force: it liberated him from lonliness, introversion, the dust of the library; it opened the door of his body and allowed his soul to step out into the world to make friends.

• music was like a rose blooming on a boundless snow-covered plain of silence.

• noise has one advantage. it drowns out words.

• and what he yearened for that moment, vaguely but with all his might, was unbounded music, absolute sound, a pleasant and happy all-encompassing, over-powering, window-rattling din to engulf, once and for all, the pain, the futility, the vanity of words. music was the negation of sentences, music was the anti-world!

light and darkness

• seeing is limited by two borders: strong light, which blinds, and total darkness.

• extremes mean borders beyond which life ends, and a passion for extremism, in art and in politics, is veiled longing for death.

• that darkness was pure, perfect, thoughtless, visionless; that darkness was without end, without borders; the darkness was the infinite we each carry within us.

• but the larger a man grows in his own inner darkness, the more his outer form diminishes.

• darkness did not mean infinity; for her, it meant a duisagreement with what she saw, the negation of what was seen, the refusal to see.

• she had an overwhelming desire to tell him. like the most banal of women, don't let me go, hold me tight, make me your plaything, your slave, be strong! but they were words she could not say.

A SHORT DICTIONARY OF MISUNDERSTOOD WORDS (continued)

parades

• the idea of such a life made him feel suffocated. he yearned to step out of his life the way one steps out of a house into the street.

• it was as though she had found refuge inside a shell and the only sound she could hear was the sea of an inimical world.

• it's unintentional. it arose independent of human design, like a stalagmatic cavern. forms which are in themsleves wuite ugly turn up fortuitously, wothout design, in such incredible surroundings that they sparkle with a sudden wondrous poetry.

• before beauty disappears entirely from the earth, it will go on existing for a while by mistake. beauty by mistake---the final phase in the history of beauty.

• a children's ball, because the dead are as innocent as children. no matter how brutal life becomes peace always reigns in the cemetery.

• an object was ugly if she willed it ugly, beautiful if she willed it beautiful.

A SHORT DICTIONARY OF MISUNDERSTOOD WORDS (concluded)

the old church in amsterdam

• beauty is a world betrayed. the only way we can encounter it is if its persecutors have overlooked it somewhere. beauty hides behind the scenes... if we want to find it, we must demolish the scenery.

• love means renouncing strength,

• the moment somone keeps an eye on what we do, we involuntarily make allowances for that eye, and nothing we do is truthful. having a public, keeping a public in mind, means living in lies.

• living in truth meant breaking down the barriers between the private and the public.

• felt the strange incomprehensible ecstacy that void had evoked in him.

• everyone would follow the process from a greater or lesser distance, and she would be forced to playact before them all;

• the time she had wanted to go down on her knees before him and beg him to hold her, squeeze her, never let her go. she had longed to come to the end of the dangerous road of betrayals. she had longed to call a halt of it all.

• they could walk along silence without hearing their silence.

• what was important was the golden foorprint, the magic foorprint she had left on his life and no one could ever remove.

• he had always preferred the unreal to the real.

• invisible goddess... whose love he constantly feared losing.

• love is a battle. and i plan to go on fighting.

• love is a battle? well, i don't feel at all like fighting.

• when we wnat to give expression to a dramatic situation in our lives, we tend to use metaphors of heaviness. we say that something has become a great burden to us. we either bear the burden or fail and go down with it, we struggle with it, win or lose.

• her drama was a drama not of heaviness but of lightness. what fell to her lot was not the burden but the unbearable lightness of being.

• the goals we pursue are always veiled.

• the cemetery was vanity tranmogrified into stone.

• when graves are covered with stones, the dead can no longer get out.

• a gulf of misunderstanding had immediately opened between them.

• she was sorry to have been so impatient with him. perhaps if they had stayed together longer, Sabina and Franz would have begun to understand the words they used. gradually, timorously, thier vocabularies would have come together, like bashful lovers, and the music of one would have begun to intersect with the music of the other. but it was too late now.

• move on, and on again, beacuse were she had to die here thye would cover her up with a stone, and in the mind of a woman for whom no place is home the thought of an end to all flight is unbearable.
  

PART TWO: Soul and Body

• but when we ignore the body, we are more easily victimized by it.

• necessity knows no magic formulae---they are all left to chance. if love is to be unforgettable, fortuities must immediately start fluttering down to it like birds to Francis of Assissi's shoulders.

• without realizing it, the individual composes his life according to the laws of beauty even in times of greatest distress.

• dreaming is not merely an act of communication; it is also an aesthetic activity, a game of the imagination, a game that is a value in itself. our dreams prove that to imagine---to dream about things that have not happened---among mankind's deepest needs.

• vertigo is something other than the fear of failing. it is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.

• they exposed her powerlessness, which in turn led to vertigo, the insuperable longing to fall.

• she was in the grip of an insuperable longing to fall. she lived in constant state of vertigo.

• on the surface, an intelligible lie; underneath, the unintelligible truth.

• what do you want me to do? i want you to be old. ten years older. twenty years older! what she meant was: i want you to be weak. as weak as i am.

• she was dependent on him for everything. what would happen to her here if he abandoned her? would she have to live her whole life in fear of losing him?

• in spite of thier love, they had made each other's life a hell. the fact that they loved each other was merely proof that the fault lay not in themselves, in thier behavior or inconstancy of feeling, but rather in their incompatibility: he was strong and she was weak.

• but when the strong were too weak to hurt the weak, the weak should be strong enough to leave.

• we might also call vertigo the intoxication of the weak. aware of his weakness, a man decides to give in rather than stand up to it. he is drunk with weakness, wishes to grow even weaker, wishes to fall down in the middle of the main square in front of everybody, wishes to be down, lower than down.

• she made no response. she could not tell him that she had been waiting for him.

• her first thought was that he had come back becuase of her; because of her, he had changed his destiny. now he would no longer be responsible for her; now she was responsible for him.

• it was not superstition, it was a sense of beauty that cured her of her depression and imbued her with a new will to live.
  

• 
  

The Unbearable Lightness of Being By: Milan Kundera PART ONE: Lightness and Weight

• everything recurs as we once experienced it, and that the recurrence itself recurs ad infinitum!
• nonexistence of return, for in this world everything is pardoned in advance and therefore everything cynically permitted.
  
• in the world of eternal return the weight of unbearable responsibility lies heavy on every move we make.
  
• the heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become.
  
• we can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.
  
• if we have only one life to live, we might as well not have lived at all.
  
• metaphors are dangerous. metaphors are not to be lifted with. a single metaphor can give birth to love.
  
• in his arms she would fall asleep no matter how wrought up she might have been.
  
• making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two separate passions, not merely different but opposite. love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman).
  
• "compassion" generally inspires suspicion; it designates what is considered an inferior, second-rate sentiment that has little to do with love. to love someone out of compassion means not really to love.
  
• to have compassion (co-feeling) means not only to be able to live with the other's misfortune but also to feel with him any emotion -- joy, anxiety, happiness, pain.
  
• maximal capacity of affective imagination, the art of emotional telepathy. in the hierarchy of sentiments, then, it is supreme.
  
• a person who longs to leave the place where he lives is an unhappy person.
  those years were more attractive in retrospect than they were when he was living them.
  
• for there is nothing heavier than compassion. not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels with someone, for someone, a pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echoes.
  
• necessity, weight, and value are three concepts inextricably bound: only necessity is heavy, and only what is heavy has value.
  
• we believe that the greatness of man stems from the fact that he bears his fate as Atlas bore the heavens on his shoulders. beethoven's hero is a lifter of metaphysical weights.
  
• we all reject out of hand the idea that the love of our life may be something light or weightless; we presume our love is what must be, that without it our life would no longer be the same;
  

finally a poem for me...

Mi Amor

I know a girl
Who held the stars in her hand
Grasping eternity
and holding on to her salvation.
She stumbled and fell flat on her face
She stumbled once and hit rock bottom.


I know a girl
Who lived under the shallow waters
of her profound insanity
She kept every memory to herself
and to the angel she whispered.
She stumbled twice
and wept with tears, never ending.


I know a girl
Who grew her hair along with her patience
She danced with strangers,
and I envied her everytime she left.
She stumbled once more,
thrice and still counting
never getting up and never forgetting.


So much for the girl I once knew.

just a thought

I am again savoring solitude in my little abode that I have decorated with shells of all sorts to make me feel at home. An ambiance of the sea I have brought back from where I have traveled once, where I was comforted by a shower of stars, a roof decorated with diamonds as clear as the past and as bright as the future, a place where I was able to rest and reflect about certain things.

Today I seek to be free, not of the memories of him who should not be named but be free from yearning to be near him, once again. I have realized that through my loss I have learned so much, and counting, and I can’t help but be grateful to him despite the fact that he had hurt me a lot.

Today I want to breed hate for him, I want to blame him for everything he had destroyed in my life, but then again I can not help but thank him still for if not for him I wouldn’t have realized certain things that I disregarded for the past few years of my existence. Because of him I was able to find my way back to my true Home, my family and friends who are always there, ready to shelter me, comfort me and love me. And yes I am a bit bitter about certain things but I am hoping that that bitterness would soon cease to exist.

Today I have realized how much I have loved him, I gave everything to him just to make him happy, but it wasn’t enough for him, he wanted more, so I set him free. It hurt a lot, even now I can still feel the piercing effect of that heartache, but no, I know I should move on, enter a new phase in my life, live life the way God planned it.

Sometimes I can’t help but think, and see things in retrospect and wonder if he really loved me, cause if he really did, why was he over me in just a snap. That is the big question I want to ask him, if he ever really loved me. But I guess some questions would be left unanswered, until the time is right I should have my answers, but for now all I should do is try to do well in everything that is given to me. My family is expecting so much for me and I should not disappoint them, they have given me so much and it is about time that I should repay old debts. And I am very much confident that everything is going to be fine as long as I put my trust in God.

Until the time is right I shall fine the answers to my questions but for now I shall let you be, enjoy your life and I shall enjoy mine. In time we will see each other again, we will be two different persons by then, and I am hoping that by that time I could master the courage to tell you that I have loved you so much, and thank you for being a part of my life, and tell you how happy I am with my life without you.

Now I am looking forward to a life without you, a life with no traces of the heartache you have given me, but if it is to much to ask to erase you even for a while in my life I will reduce it into wishing that I may live my life free from bitterness and hate for you.

my random nothings

and i need to write again...

its summer and i am obessessed with shells, of course with clothes (ukay finds) and tea. but you know i was just wondering why do i always have an obssession with something, i dont know why, maybe its what keeps me sane, its what makes me hold on to this world, cheap thrills and simple joys, but i have realized they are not that small, every piece i keep are little pebbles of memory i so wanna hold on to...

moving on ... in the real sense of the word, when's this gonna happen, i think i am ready now... i think i am finally allowing my self to do so... oh dear God, Divine Mercy i trust in you, let your will be done, and i shallobey, if letting him be will make me happy, please grant me the courage and grace to do so...

oh... such random thoughts running through my brain...

and i am wondering... when will i ever stop thinking... ever thought of that?

i shall write and paint again... :)

release, release, release...

today is a new day for me... i want to hate pom for not caring and not giving a damn about all the memories we've shared, i was hoping he atleast grieved for our broken relationship, but it seemed like he didn't... so what the hell for now i shall start hating him, i should know better by now, so i am hoping that in time i woulld be able to forget and forgive him... but not right now... it will take time... in my own time...

anyway i have been through a lot of stress lately and to all those who know my current problem thanking you for bearing with me, thank you for being my support group, you have been my sourece of stregnth... thank you antz for the wonderful trip to puerto galera, sleeping on the shore because the entire island was fully booked, thank you so much for making me happy, for letting me rest, you know i needed that, thank you so much.

to my amma and mommy, thank you so much for understanding my shortcomings, i know in some way or another i have disappointed you, and i am sorry, thank you for making me smile even if it was the hardest thing to do, thank you for the wonderful shell, now i have a mermaid sanctuary on the 5th floor.

oh before i forget... these are all random thoughts... unorganized but who cares these are all the memories i want to write down. when we were at puerto and antz was sleeping cause she felt dizy after drinking a bottle of beer i decided to lie down on the beach, feel the cool breeze of the night and the wonderful stars... oh that black velvet roof with diamond studs all over, what a wonderful sight, i felt happy and relaxed... and i saw 8 FALLING STARS! and i know i could not ask for more.

the divine mercy was what kept me sane and alive. thank you! i do trust in You.

i know i am not making sense anymore, but you know i really don't care anymore, and i still want to continue hating pom, i think somehow he desreves it... you know pom, i'll see you after 10-12 years, i hope by that time i'd be fully happy with myself, and i wont be to dependent on you as my source of happiness... finally over you... and HOME shall be mine and mine alone...

memories revisited
mirrored in my little teacup
i started to drink tea again, you know?
wishing to wash you away
to flash you
down the toilet bowl of my memory lane
together with all the unnecessary crap
i have kept as baggages

now i have to release
now i have to release
release
release
release

you will go down the smelly dark road
of longing and loneliness

feeling all fucked up
the way you felt when i asked you
if you still loved me

that same old feeling you felt
you big piece of crap!
its ok you big waste of time!
SHIT HAPPENS, remember!

breaking the broken

The heart beating like a thousand raindrops
On top of the suburban roof
Restless struggle
Like a running sea current
Never ceasing yet tired and sorrowful
An agony unbearable
With its weight suffocating you
Consuming you
Like the first heartache you had
It drains you
Catches up and never leaves you
Like cancer maybe
Slowly killing you
Shame:
Disappointment is one thing I could not handle
Breaking broken hearts

I'M TWENTEEN! happy birthday to me!

In a couple of hours I would be shedding out my old fins in exchange for new ones, hoping it would bring me to farther places, stronger so it can help me push my self above and see the sun shine eternally on me.

Right in a couple of hours I would finally leave the wee years of being a teenager, I can say that I am no longer afraid of growing old, I am a bit excited for I know that this will be another start of the year for me, where I can make renovations and innovations, change and maintain, or even improve on certain attitudes and goals.

19, this year has been a bang for me; I can say that this would be one of the most unforgettable year of my life. So many things have happened, which made me weak and strong at the same time, a process and a stage of growing, I have done a lot of mistakes this year, hurt and loved so many people too. And I am glad to say that despite the wrong decisions I have done I am happy that I was able to face all the consequences and I believe I am a stronger lady now. I am happy that somehow despite all the longing and yearning, the hurting and the breaking, the agony of prolonging all would be well in the end. That everything’s gonna be fine in the end, for is it not that sometimes all we need is to hear this phrase to draw strength from, and so I am telling you, people of the world, everything’s gonna be fine… just trust and believe that the will of the Lord is the one guiding you.

God made a special plan for all of us, I know this is such a cliché but you know as I see it in retrospect it is indeed all incorporated with the will of God. We are all connected in this circle that will never end, in which God made it possible that through this life we will be able to learn our lessons in life be it the hard or the easy way. And I have realized how important God is into our lives, when you no longer know where to hide from the cruelties of the world do not be afraid, seek protection from His glory and he will grant you the peace that you need. I have realized that prayer is such a wonderful gift, it can calm your soul and it brigs you closer to God, it humbles you down and it comforts you. The silence that you experience during prayer is the best conversation you can ever have, a conversation with God. And so I wanna thank the Lord for being with me through all the hardships and challenges I had gone through this year.

I wanna say thank you to the following people:

First of all I wanna thank my Dad for everything he has done for us, thank you pa for the talent and the gift of art, it is what kept me sane for the entire year, thank you for leaving a piece of your soul inside my heart. Thank you for being a good provider and thank you for the inspiration and the strength I have drawn from you, for all the prayers and especially for the love, you will forever be in my heart. I will constantly feel your presence around me because of the gentle breeze I have asked you to grant me. I love you so much.

To my family first to my mother for being strong despite you losing your partner in life, you are a strong and wonderful woman I hope to imitate you, be as graceful and dignified as you are. I love you so much; sorry for all the disappointments I have given you. To Ate Lorie I hope to see you soon, thank you for being the coolest sister ever! To Kuya Apollo, for the tears we have shared, it has made us both stronger you know. To Kuya Allan, for EVERYTHING. To Ate Alma for the strength and the shoulder to cry on, also for everything, you have been my second mother.

To my friends, to the Philo People specially Father, Cindy, Nico, Berna and Ning for the constant support in everything I have done in our college life, thank you and Kudos to all of us! Of course to Changing, to all the crazy nights with you guys! Never a dull moment! I love you! To the bluerep people I have learned to love and support, hope top see you guys soon, cause I really really miss you all. To all the UST people I have exchanged his and hellos, small talk or big talk, to Ricci, to Sir Ralph, thank you for the love and the life, I had so much fun, to Sir Reyes thank you for the love and the honor to be called your daughter, you have been my second dad, I love you. To the angel in silence, do I need to say more?! I love you so much, thank you for the silence, the small space we share here on earth, thank you for being brave enough to reveal yourself to me, I do not regret ever knowing you! I hope you know that. Thank you to all of you… to those I have failed to mention, you can scold me anytime, I love you!

Lastly I wanna thank Pom for bringing joy into my life, I hope I have assured you enough of how much I love and care for you. Thank you for all the firsts and the lasts. Thank you for loving me. Home shall be ours soon.

reality and fantasy

between reality and fantasy lies the mystery that would either take you down the road of unending bliss or under the world of sorrow. the gray line in between is the only source of hope.

patungo sa mga perlas

lumusong ka sa karagatan ng buhay, lumangoy kasabay ng alon, sumisid... pailalim ng pailalim hanggang sa marating ang mga perlas sa pusod ng dagat...

kulay ng buhay

i wanna paint again, and picture the world with vibrant colors. to immortalize and capture its grandest gifts. soon i will be able to paint down my happiness again... soon!